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The Stephen Colbert Experience
The Stephen Colbert Experience is merely a reflection of the world inside Stephen Colbert's gut because the whole of America, American Society and America's Planet exists just as Stephen Colbert says it does. Stephen Colbert's gut is an empire unto itself and thus creates its own reality, which we can all enjoy and must be thankful for. It has become imperative that every American be thankful that Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. has clarified our country and what we stand for Since 9/11. =Truthyisms= Truthyisms are statements chock full of truthiness. To the untrained eye, truthiness may appear to be random, but it's not. Truthiness is a concept that is American and does not change.Only after the market has spoken can a truthyism be altered, but not until then. For the latest version of truthiness, or how truthiness manifests itself through the latest events, please see "The Colbert Report" Mondays through Thursdays 11:30 p.m. EST and PST, 10:30 p.m. CST. Unfortunately, it is only on one cable network, so check your local listings for the correct television tube (some real Americans have also claimed that now even Canadains can get it 1 hour later). Watch it like you would go to church: religiously. Wikiality.com provides this internets tube as a public service to the HeroesStephen provides the truthiness; Wikiality.com provides just the tube.. The truthyisms listed on this page contain the highest levels of truthiness and are guidelines for everything contained in this wiki. Follow them as you would follow Our Glorious Stephen. Biblical Truthyisms There are some things that are true because they were written in the Bible and the Bible is infallible, because it says it is. * America's Planet is 6,000 years old. * Jesus Christ is everyone's Lord and Savior * STRICT adherence to The Holy Bible wins points in God's eyes * Any deviation whatsoever from The Exact Word of God sends one straight to hell and all previously accumulated points are taken away * The Man is the head of the family * The woman does what he says * Wrath is a sin; Righteous Anger is not Colbert Truthyisms Stephen is knowledgeable on almost every given subjectAlmost every subject because Stephen does not know anything about what it's like to be a woman or a gay. Or poor. Or not white., because... * he has his own show * he says he is, on his own TV show * he supports The Greatest President--EVER!!! * he uses his gut to feel his opinion, instead of using his head to read or think * He is Stephen, thou shalt have no other hosts before him American Truthyisms * America is the best at everything good * everything having to do with America makes The Baby Jesus Happy * America is not liberal * America is constantly under attack from un-American forces * America must be protected by all-American Americans * only the Republican Party and/or Jesus can help/save America Truthyisms About Americans * Americans love to eat (see: Wikiality.com's Menu) * Americans love the flag * Americans love Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ * Americans can recite both the Bible and certain parts of the Constitution by heart * Americans watch FOX * Americans listen to Rush * Americans follow only the right leaders * Americans believe only the right things * Americans hate everything Communist, Socialist or anti-Capitalist, including Welfare and Social Security * Americans do not do anything that is illegal, the law automatically adjusts to accommodate this truthyism (See: Nixo-facto) Truthyisms About un-American Things * Anything that is not American is terroristic in nature * liberals are not American * everything related to liberals contains gayness * most liberals deny their gayness, unless they are gay ** if a gay does not stay in the closet, their gayness is contagious * celebrity gays must declare their gayness **if a celebrity does not declare their ungayness, Stephen can conclude that they are gay * unAmericans hate everything good about America, which is everything * unAmericans want to destroy everything about America * unAmericans give aid and comfort to America's enemies ** unAmericans make movies that destroy America * everything against America makes The Baby Jesus sad and makes The Baby Satan pee his pants in glee =Footnotes=